My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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