I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
