Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
