So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
