her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
