Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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