Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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