break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
