party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
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And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
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Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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