Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
