i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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