She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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