idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
