I'm drive I can fine osifer
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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