One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
