I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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