i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
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Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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