where am i from again
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
