So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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