so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
