My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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