i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
