Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry about my life...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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