it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
