Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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