Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
