All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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