I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize