I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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