woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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