My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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