so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
