im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
