dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
