I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize