everyone is single if you try hard enough
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize