He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize