I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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