how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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