if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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