the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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