she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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