So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
