WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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