I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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