you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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