this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
