So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
