My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize