If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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