On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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