Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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