i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
