That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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