I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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