Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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