are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
