so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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