I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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