Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize