so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
