I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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